Tuesday, July 26, 2016

sight

I'm not blind, but I'm blind enough. I take off my glasses to sleep, to swim, to shower. To make out, because they smear against their nose or click against their glasses. (Hank makes passes at folks who wear glasses.) Sex, obviously, because they'd fall off anyway. I used to leave them with the bartender or a friend when I crashed into a mosh pit, and now I barely recognize myself in old show photos.

When Rick Scott laid us all off, I got a new pair before I lost my benefits. That's gone five years now, and mine have become a mass of scratches. At night, the world is full of flares and rainbows and auras and halos. Headlights blast like explosions. Driving isn't fun and probably not safe.

So I finally got an eye exam and yes, my left eye is worse than it ever was, but also: bifocals. Lord help me. I don't look forward to losing even more of my field of vision. That being said, I'll be able to see again! I pick them up today, on my way to trivia. The world, clear again!

17 comments:

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    1. I didn't get them today - trivia took too long to write. Tomorrow for sure.

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  2. I'm as blind as a bat and also ended up with bi focals too! It will be a whole new world Hank with your new specs.

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    1. I didn't get them today, so I'll get them tomorrow. I honestly can't wait.

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  3. Specs...what a pain in the arse. I buy them by the gross at the local box store and then manage to misplace them, one sad pair at a time, until another trip is necessary months later. I sometimes wonder who the hell is wearing all my lost glasses. Just another weird version of "pay it forward" I suppose. X

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  4. I was under the impression that bifocals were for "older-than-me" people. Yeah. Nope! I need them when I was about 40. I can't see a thing without my glasses. I am like Velma from Scooby Doo. "I can't find my glasses!" and they are right in front of me.

    I just had to look up Velma's name and saw a picture of her. I am her. I look just like without the intelligence.

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    1. I swear I wasn't stoned when I wrote that comment. I would say I got too much sun today but that is how I type most days.

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    2. I have literally had to call my neighbor to come find my glasses for me, so I understand.

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  5. I am near your mom's age and got one cataract removed, a week and a half before the other was to be removed MediCal canceled me for a paperwork error. That was in April. I was just reinstated. I'm poor and blind too. I bet I'll have to get bifocals when the surgery is complete. I already know I have to get glasses.

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  6. But you do look so cute in them...your glasses.

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    1. Wait a second, maybe men don't like to be called cute. I'm sorry, I meant dashing!

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    2. I am totally fine with cute. I'm more cute than dashing. I'll also accept handsome in a certain way, beautifully ugly, and more attractive than I should be.

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    3. Beautiful ugly men slay me!

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    4. Eye of the beholder and all that.

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  7. Ugh, I need to wear mine more. Last time I went to the optician she said, 'let's see if we can get away with just the one pair'. I basically answered PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'm not ready to face that much middle age!

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    1. If it helps my sight, I'm all for it.

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